Tribute to mothers #5 - Even when they have lost every single memory or skill that they possess, it does not make them any less of a mother. This story truly hit a soft spot in me.
“Esok ada apa (What's happening tomorrow)? ” asked Mak on the other end of the phone.
“Maths exams, Mak. Dah 3 kali Mak tanya. Tak sampai 5 minit pun (You've been asking the same question three times and it's not even five minutes yet)” I replied almost feeling frustrated.
That was 8 years ago. Little did I know, it’s an early sign of dementia. Yes, my mom is losing her memories. I remembered vividly what the doctor said on one of our many visits to the hospital, “She’ll reach one stage where she won’t remember you.”
My heart sank. How can a mother forget the person she carried for 9 months?
Now, 8 years has gone by, she has lost many basic abilities like talking, eating on her own and yes, my greatest fear has come upon me - she no longer remembers me.
I believe there’s wisdom for everything that happens. Afterall, God does not burden a soul more that it can bear (Al-Quran 2:286).
I have a career now and with mom’s current condition, there’s almost no guilt of leaving her when I have to work late or off-site as she won’t ask or worry about me.
But then there are those days. Those days when I had a rough day at work or just needing someone to talk to - I wish to have a daughter-mom conversation. But for now, I just have to live without it, knowing Mak will never get better.
Mak, I hope you have forgiven me before dementia erased me that day because I want us to be in paradise together and catch up on all the things you missed!