Reality Check

As we grow older, the carefree days are slowly replaced by "care-more days". Care for your income, care for your family, care for your spending - so on and so forth.

This post, however is specially dedicated to one thing I have to care about - Care to Save and Spend.

Growing up, I have to admit I have not paid much attention to how much I spend. 

When I was 10 years old, my goal is just to make sure I have sufficient pocket money to buy that ridiculously mouth watering fried chicken for lunch at the canteen. By the time I was 20, my pocket money was to cover for more things - but mostly entertainment and good-to-haves like movies, food, and trips with friends while I was abroad. Now that I am 30, the financial needs are for much crucial things - like home renovation, sending kids to school, pre and post maternity expenses, buying a family car...and the list goes on. All of the quoted expenses are in thousands and yet my fixed salary is growing at a rate that, admittedly is much lower than my growing expenses.

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I Knew This Day Would Come

When you have to share the room you grew up in with first, your husband and then your child (and soon, children!) - you know it's just a matter of time before space becomes an issue. Four cabinets meant for just me, myself and I for the longest time, are now used to store man's clothes, baby diapers and well, you get the gist. 

When we got married, I generously gave Z one and a half cabinet for him to put his stuff. Then Musa happened, hehe. For Musa, I bought a new chest of drawers to put his clothes and now that his little brother's arrival is just around the corner, I really have no clue where to find more space.

At the corner of my mind, I knew the inevitable had to happen...I had to sell some of my preloved items to make way for more space.

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The Ramadhan Report Card

Wow, its been a good three weeks since I last blogged! Which is ironic because I have so many things I want to jot down here but never really make time to write #whatelseisnewToots hehe. But first thing first, I hope it's not too late to wish all Muslims a productive and meaningful Ramadhan! Hows your first five days going so far guys?? heart is always just so full of excitement for this beloved month. I love everything about it. The sahur and berbuka experience, how food looks 100 times more delicious than usual, the nights spent at the masjid, and more importantly knowing how much Allah opens door for forgiveness and rewards in this special month...sigh, everything is just love, really <3

Each year, I will plan in advance what to do / not do in Ramadhan and more often than not my report card at the end of the month is soooo bad it really shouldn't see daylight. I will list down a thousand things to do, and end up doing barely 10% of whats planned. So this year, I've toned down a little bit, to make more realistic goals that I can keep up with in Ramadhan and even after.

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There are times when I feel like I could be a supermom. That I could work hard, play harder, spend more time with Musa, have some fun time with my girlfriends and still have the energy to drop by the grocery store to buy what I need to buy for the family.

But today is not one of those days. Today I feel the complete opposite of 'super'.

When I was pregnant with Musa, I guess I had it pretty easy. Work was a routine 9 to 5, and when I'm home I am able to focus on myself and what I need to do. This pregnancy though, seems to be far off the case.

Both my husband and I are in new working fields. I work close to 12 hours a day sometimes. The nature of Z's job requires him to be away from home most of the time. So I come home to a toddler who looks forward to my undivided attention. And of course I would give him my all. The thought that his father is not there made it so much more important for me to be fully present when I am home with him. Messages and calls at night are often left unattended for this reason.

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"It feels like you've changed so much,"

It was a genuine and honest remark from a friend, expressing what she felt towards my new look. I smiled and told her that I'm still the same, but somehow - her words echoed in my head even long after the conversation took place.

I wonder if I have truly changed.

Physically, of course I've changed. But then again Allah knows, how many physical changes I've gone through in my lifetime. I started coloring my hair before I even reached puberty, and had my first hold of colored contact lenses as early as high school. I chopped my hair and walked like a boy in high school, acknowledged my feminine side and permed my hair in college, lost half of my weight soon after and experienced many, many questionable fashion days.

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A Letter To My Young Female Readers

Are you young female in your teens or early 20s? And if you are - do you have 10 minutes to spare?

If yes, grab your favorite cookies and munch them as you read this post I wrote specially for you girls. I'm turning 30 in a few weeks time, and as the date nears, I want to reflect on my life in the last 20 years and share with you girls what I've learned along the way.

Dear Ladies,

There are many things I wish I knew upfront (now that I'm 30!) and I want to pen them down here as a form of reflection and in my effort to be a better parent myself. You may not be able to relate to everything here for everyone's growing up journey is different but here are eight lessons I learned and observed from 13 going 30.

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My Wucii

When I first started working, I didnt need a car because I have neighbors who were nice enough to carpool with. It lasted for over a year until I decided to get my first car - a Myvi which I named Wucii.

That was seven years ago.

Those who know me well know how dear Wucii is to me. I call her Wucii allllll the time that when people refer to her as Myvi, It doesnt even hit me they're talking about my car 😂  In fact, one of my first posts when I first joined Instagram was that of Wucii (and you know how selective I am with my instapost!)

With Wucii, I started exploring the city little by little by myself - a giant leap for a girl who is a scaredy when it comes to driving and being on the road.

Seriously guys. I'm so bad at driving I'm not even gonna deny it...and for a good reason too. 

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