So, I realised I've been married for more than four years and with two kids, date night ritual between Z and I is almost...non existent.
Perhaps we got into the complacent zone, or maybe we were so busy juggling family, work and everything in between that date night becomes the least of our concern.
There's always a good excuse though - the kids need us because we work all the time, our parents want to spend time together, AVA session way overdue, somebody is married, somebody is about to pop a baby, somebody's sick and we need to visit, somebody's gonna be king and rule this universe...well you get the gist.
Ironically we spent most of our days trying to make time for other people that we no longer make time - just for each other. We fell into the trap of making efforts and dressing up to meet other people and just look tired and done for the day when with each other.
So 2018, Z and I made the resolution to be better at the Date Night department. Mom's not so happy about this of course - she feels that when you have kids, there is no such thing as your own space and honestly, I respect that. Everyone has his or her own school of thought and who's to say yours is better than mine. But nobody knows my relationship more than me and I know that Z and I need to work in this department and not let responsibilities take its toll on the fun part of our marriage.
The first date night to be honest was rather stale. Z tried too hard and brought me to this fancy restaurant that was wayyyyy too fancy for both of us 😂 He was so conscious he barely spoke and I was bored out of my mind. Kept thinking about the kids and rushed home the moment the bill was settled.
I remember thinking, Hmm...that wasnt as fun as I imagined a date night to be!
So naturally I wasn't so looking forward to the next one but I didn't lose hope.
Thank goodness, the 2nd round today was so much better. We watched The Black Panther (SUCH.A.GOOD.MOVIE) and had a good time eating Texas Chicken, laughing like teenagers instead of trying to be so dressed up and formal like boring adults. Didn't tell mom that we went to catch a movie so she kept calling to ask when will we be back to nurse Umar. Everytime mom called, I swear It felt like my heart dropped to the floor. I got so scared that we rushed home the moment the movie was over. I told Z it felt like we were high school kids sneaking out on a date, too afraid that our parents would find out when in reality, we're 30 yo married with two kids! #dontmesswithmymom
It was such a good day - or rather, it was almost a good full day...until we went furniture hunting together and he insisted to buy this sofa that just hurts my eyes.
😂🤣😂🤣😂 I can't even comprehend his taste. When he said "Lets buy this sofa b!" I was laughing so hard thinking he was cracking a joke and said "And add this table to make it worse right!" . He looked at me with such confusion in his eyes and it was only then it stroked me that he was not joking.
I managed to convince Z to think about it and sleep on it first (....while i plan my strategy to never bring him there again). 😂
And tonight as I'm about to call it a day, I am reminded of how different we are. Like night and day, his point of view would seldom meet mine. There are times we would fight until the cow comes home and at the end of the day, still not come to a conclusion as we choose to just agree to disagree.
So today's incident reminded me to just take a step back, and find a sense of lightheartedness in all the differences and just....enjoy the moment.
Until the next fight, that is. ,