My Umar

Umar just turned 4 months last week, and he is growing so fast. And no, I'm not being melancholic here guys, he is LITERALLY growing so fast (almost 8kg at his 3 months check up!)

Umar at 4 months, just look at those chubby cheeks! 

Umar at 4 months, just look at those chubby cheeks! 

As a baby, I realised being the second child isnt easy. You have to watch your elder sibling (i.e Musa) do most of the things you cant do yet - talk, walk, eat adult food, and the hardest of all - watch him (i.e Musa) cry or act all cute to steal mommy's attention away from you while you stare at him (i.e Musa), unable to do anything in return. Being Umar sure is tough! To make it worse, you barely have new clothes and live in the world of hand-me-downs 😂

And you watch your parents take your elder brother out ALL the time but you're left at home because your mom strongly feels as a baby, you are more comfortable, safer and happier at home.  

Our new house is still WIP so Z, Musa, Umar and I are still living it up in the four corners of my bedroom.  The bed is too small for the four of us so Umar had to sleep in his cot, whilst Musa, Z and I sleep on the bed. Again, Umar is missing out on all the cuddling fun that happens at night.

But God is fair, and He made sure you wont remember anything from this period of your life Umar. Unfortunately or fortunately, you have a mom 🙋🏻 who chose to pen this down so you will be able to read this someday, hehe. 

Tonight I reflected on Umar's first four months of life and how he is not getting as much attention as Musa did as a baby because we had to juggle with more kids and Z's travel becomes more frequent. 

Umar is such an easy baby. He can sleep on his own whilst I put Musa to sleep. And he let me sleep through the night without much of a hassle. He's been such a good baby that sometimes I took it for granted and leave him and let him be for hours.

So tonight, I broke the routine. I took Umar out of his cot and lay him next to me. I watched him sleep and kissed his cheeks multiple times and hugged him close to me and it just felt so, so nice. 

Musa's asleep on my left, his legs and hands sprawled as if he's going on jumping jack. Umar's on my right, swaddled much like a bolster next to me and close enough for me to plant kisses on his head every now and then.

In the silence of the night, sandwiched between these two little creatures - all life's worries fade away and I feel a sense of contentment within me. I am truly at my happiest. Motherhood taught me that to love is more fulfilling than to be loved and you dont have to wait to be a mother to give this unconditional love.

Oh, Umar if you read this someday just know that Ibu and Ayah love you so very much! And your brother Musa too! Despite his fight for attention, you are still the first person he kiss every morning when he wakes up. He even has the tendency to wake up in the middle of the night and crawl over to your cot so he could snuggle and sleep next to you. I can already feel the sibling vibe going strong and I pray that it will only grow stronger with time and that you both will always have each other's back even long after Ibu and Ayah are gone.

Come what may, just know that I love both of you with all my heart, Umar & Musa! ❤️

With my little heroes ❤️

With my little heroes ❤️