There are times when I feel like I could be a supermom. That I could work hard, play harder, spend more time with Musa, have some fun time with my girlfriends and still have the energy to drop by the grocery store to buy what I need to buy for the family.

But today is not one of those days. Today I feel the complete opposite of 'super'.

When I was pregnant with Musa, I guess I had it pretty easy. Work was a routine 9 to 5, and when I'm home I am able to focus on myself and what I need to do. This pregnancy though, seems to be far off the case.

Both my husband and I are in new working fields. I work close to 12 hours a day sometimes. The nature of Z's job requires him to be away from home most of the time. So I come home to a toddler who looks forward to my undivided attention. And of course I would give him my all. The thought that his father is not there made it so much more important for me to be fully present when I am home with him. Messages and calls at night are often left unattended for this reason.

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The One with the Feature Wall

So, if you've been following my old blog you would know that i'm a sucker for two things - surprises and beautiful interior. Seriously, I would spend dayss planning a surprise and my idea of the perfect chillex time is being on my bed, watching Fixer Upper marathon #definitelythirty 

But what I've never done before is combining these two - surprising someone with a beautiful interior. So imagine how excited I was when I first thought of the idea and there was no one more suited for this then my long time buddy, Asma'.

This girl is just...something else. She goes through life with this unwavering faith that whatever happens is for the best. And just seeing how she deals with everything really is a reminder of what a special gem she is. And I thought she deserves a nice surprise.

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"It feels like you've changed so much,"

It was a genuine and honest remark from a friend, expressing what she felt towards my new look. I smiled and told her that I'm still the same, but somehow - her words echoed in my head even long after the conversation took place.

I wonder if I have truly changed.

Physically, of course I've changed. But then again Allah knows, how many physical changes I've gone through in my lifetime. I started coloring my hair before I even reached puberty, and had my first hold of colored contact lenses as early as high school. I chopped my hair and walked like a boy in high school, acknowledged my feminine side and permed my hair in college, lost half of my weight soon after and experienced many, many questionable fashion days.

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The Royal Duck

When Titts told me her brand, dUCk is collaborating with Her Royal Highness Princess Sarah of Brunei, I had the horrible task to keep my cool and not tell a soul. I told myself, "You can do this Toots, it's no biggie - just the Brunei know, only the richest royalty in the world!" Hehe.

And as she tells me more about the progress of the collaboration, and how warm the royal family are my respect for them just grew everyday. In my head, I imagined The Princess, Titts, Asma' and I as best friends already, exchanging stories over cakes and coffee. SAVA doesn't sound so bad after all.....

So of course I was determined to make it to the launch of The Royal Duck in Brunei - a collaboration between my real best friend and my best friend in another life 😂

But going to Brunei was not without its fair share of challenges.

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A Letter To My Young Female Readers

Are you young female in your teens or early 20s? And if you are - do you have 10 minutes to spare?

If yes, grab your favorite cookies and munch them as you read this post I wrote specially for you girls. I'm turning 30 in a few weeks time, and as the date nears, I want to reflect on my life in the last 20 years and share with you girls what I've learned along the way.

Dear Ladies,

There are many things I wish I knew upfront (now that I'm 30!) and I want to pen them down here as a form of reflection and in my effort to be a better parent myself. You may not be able to relate to everything here for everyone's growing up journey is different but here are eight lessons I learned and observed from 13 going 30.

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My Wucii

When I first started working, I didnt need a car because I have neighbors who were nice enough to carpool with. It lasted for over a year until I decided to get my first car - a Myvi which I named Wucii.

That was seven years ago.

Those who know me well know how dear Wucii is to me. I call her Wucii allllll the time that when people refer to her as Myvi, It doesnt even hit me they're talking about my car 😂  In fact, one of my first posts when I first joined Instagram was that of Wucii (and you know how selective I am with my instapost!)

With Wucii, I started exploring the city little by little by myself - a giant leap for a girl who is a scaredy when it comes to driving and being on the road.

Seriously guys. I'm so bad at driving I'm not even gonna deny it...and for a good reason too. 

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Sprinkle Me Some Black

Tasteful interior never fails to make my heart flutters.

And if you know me well, you know I love the classic touch. White, grey, nude, beige - basically the lighter the better. My sister said my taste is boring, but really - I think deep in her heart she meant to say, classy. Haha. I mean how can you say these pictures ain't pretty! But lately I'm seeing all that color combo, with a touch of black and boyyy, it makes a worlddd of difference. 

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